Jersey Joke

No this is not about McGreevy and soap on a rope.

Thanks to Sam for passing this along - enjoy:

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found Him resting on the seventh day.
He inquires of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh Of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "Look, Michael, look what I've made."Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth, "For example, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Africa is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot."
God continued, pointing to different countries, "This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered with ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass with an ocean as it border and said, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God, "that's the Jersey Shore, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, lakes, and climate. The people from the Jersey Shore are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely
sociable, hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance! Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call the Jersey Shore"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the assholes I'm sending down from New York every summer."

Dr. K -All the way - to hell!

Dwight Gooden was a heck of a pitcher for a few years in the eighties. His career started out about the same time as Roger Clemens, and through about 1989 or so, you could argue Gooden was the better pitcher, at least statistically. Clemens' ability to put together a long and successful career suggests that Gooden's abuse of hard drugs was a bad idea. Gooden's wasted talent was a big disappointment to us Mets fans.

Thank goodness I'm a Dolphins fan as well. Dolphins fans never suffered that kind of disappointment.

Hmmmmm, well there is potential for redemption.

We've nicknamed it: Wile E.

Most of our neighbors have a seen a small, red fox in our neighborhood over the past few years - I have yet to see it. Last summer, I did see and hear what I thought was a wolf or coyote, running up and down the street in the middle of the night making a distinctive "yip-yip" sound.

My wife figured that I was hallucinating - she pays little mind to what I say usually. I looked into it the next day, and a bit of research showed it to be a coyote, for sure. It looked pretty much like the one in this picture. Over the winter, I did not see or hear any more evidence of the critter.


The cool spring weather has us sleeping with the windows open. Last week, we heard the "yip-yip" again in the middle of the night, but didn't see anything. Earlier this week, early in the morning, the wife is looking out the kitchen window and sees a dog in the yard. The dog looks like a husky my neighbor used to have, but then she notices it looks too skinny and scruffy - and it has a small animal in it's mouth! A quick trip to the computer confirms my earlier coyote sighting. He's back, and he's hungry. We've spoken to a few of the neighbors, and while none has seen the coyote, several have seen the fox.

My research led me to this page on Rutgers Rarities. It seems that a pack of coyote are roaming around the woods in Piscataway, NJ, near the Rutgers campus. Be careful out there!

America's Pastime Trying To Blow It - Again.

In the mid nineties, baseball almost died because of it's own greed-induced strike. The sport's comeback has been fueled by the excitement of watching the home run barrage of the late nineties and the explosive growth of fantasy / rotisserie baseball. The individual greed of players, in the form of cheating through steroid use, has ruined the joy of the home run era. Now the collective greed of Major League Baseball may wreck the sport for good.

Baseball highlight shows, websites, newsletters, and websites have benefitted from the need for fantasy managers to consume up to the minute data about their fantasy league. Major League Baseball wants to make sure they control - and profit from - the fantasy activity, and will likely make it something the casual fan will give up on. These guys are killing the golden goose. This can not be pinned on Barry Bonds.

Revolting Taxpayers

The taxpayers are revolting!

This idea, at least in my opinion, is revolting. After reading this opinion, and listening to the complaints of so many "baby boomer" taxpayers, I emailed this rebuttal:

"The May 4 edition of the Sentinel finds yet another
citizen suggesting that school taxes should be paid
only by school users, in essence, a user fee.

What a great idea - but only if it is implemented at
the same time as a similar user fee to replace the
current Social Security / Medicare taxes, which, just
like school taxes, are primarily paid by those who get
no direct benefit.

If you want to break the social contract, it's not
fair to cherry pick."

I am the first in line when it comes time to criticize waste at every level of Goverment, and I am sure that local school systems could be run more efficiently. I empathize with the senior citizen on a fixed income, but it takes big brass ones to wait until after the system took care of you and your kids, and then to point out that it's unfair, as so many of these "poor" seniors do. I'm all for a "fair" system - I'll pay for my kid's education, you pay for your retirement and health care.

As it stands, the system is being sucked dry by the boomers, so I'll be left paying for my own retirement and health care - if I'm lucky enough to last that long!